This is the face of a woman in the middle of a full blown panic attack. I haven\u2019t had one in a really long time but tonight out of left field I lost the daily struggle to keep the crazy in check. My kid was sweet today, my husband was an awesome co-parent, work was just fine. Why the fuck does this happen?<\/p>\n
So tonight when it hit and I couldn\u2019t breathe and I was sobbing uncontrollably I did something out of character for me, I reached out for help. I stumbled into the room my husband was in, collapsed at his feet and sobbed so hard I couldn\u2019t talk. He did something out of character for him too, he just rubbed my back and then went and grabbed me a tissue. After what seemed like hours but was just minutes I was able to breathe again and I said I need to go run. So I did. Not because I\u2019m some super human that channels a panic attack into something positive, because this isn\u2019t my normal way of coping with stress, but because I didn\u2019t know what else to do and running away from the anxiety was what seemed like the most logical thing to do at the moment.<\/p>\n
I ran and I cried while I was on the treadmill, much to the dismay of the people next to me at the gym. Eventually the woman at the end of the row of treadmills stopped her run and came to run on the treadmill next to me. She gets it. She\u2019s been here. She didn\u2019t have to say a word, we just ran next to each other and when I increased my speed so did she. She wasn\u2019t competing with me, she was just running next to me. It felt so good to be able to just run out the anxiety and not have to say a word. I finished my run and hopped off and started a pyramid lifting regimen that would make my favorite fitness instructor, Rachel, proud. The woman on the treadmill jogged until I was finished and as I was putting my weights away she smiled and walked out of the gym.<\/p>\n
I work really hard to be the good in the world, but sometimes I need someone to look out for me too. Having a spouse that stepped up to rub my back and grab me a tissue and a stranger that knew I probably shouldn\u2019t be in the apartment complex gym alone was what I needed for good in the world tonight.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n You know what else I needed? Eric Hutchinson. Seriously. That dude just gets me. So next time you\u2019re sobbing in public and making everyone around you uncomfortable, might I suggest doing it while running? Is that sweat or tears running down your face? Only you and the random woman you\u2019ve never seen before and will probably never see again will know.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This is the face of a woman in the middle of a full blown panic attack. I haven\u2019t had one in a really long time but tonight out of left field I lost the daily struggle to keep the crazy in check. My kid was sweet today, my husband was an awesome co-parent, work was…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":87,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/7DFA798E-AB64-4903-9497-9EC85CC63AAC.jpeg?fit=1539%2C2048&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s9th7P-86","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":59,"url":"https:\/\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/?p=59","url_meta":{"origin":86,"position":0},"title":"It's enough to make you crazy","date":"October 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I workout before meeting with my therapist because quite frankly my insurance company isn\u2019t paying for me to cry so hard I can\u2019t talk for an hour...which is what happened the one time I didn't exercise before I stepped into her office.\u00a0 Exercise has always been my second favorite form\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/hh-pic.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":103,"url":"https:\/\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/?p=103","url_meta":{"origin":86,"position":1},"title":"Chapter 1","date":"January 21, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Just kidding. I didn't start writing a book, but I have done a lot of thinking about writing lately. I've thought\u00a0about how I love\u00a0to laugh about the absurdity of life and then share those stories with others. I've thought about how people don't love that I swear when I write\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":74,"url":"https:\/\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/?p=74","url_meta":{"origin":86,"position":2},"title":"Helpful Hot Mess Mom Hacks","date":"November 13, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I can\u2019t physically or mentally follow a linear path whether that be in cleaning my house, trying to buy healthy foods without bankrupting our retirement at the grocery store, or doing math. It also means that my husband and child operate under that same chaotic methodology. Kevin hates it.\u00a0 While\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/00AB73B9-0F0B-4FBF-9A91-35BB3F9E7D66.jpeg?fit=967%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":32,"url":"https:\/\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/?p=32","url_meta":{"origin":86,"position":3},"title":"Reluctantly My One and Only","date":"April 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I had big plans for my daughter and her sister. Our family of four would section hike the Appalachian Trail every year, culminating at the summit of Mount Katadhin the summer before my oldest left for college; my girls would backpack through Europe together as they got older, and my\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/DSC_0903-Edit-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":80,"url":"https:\/\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/?p=80","url_meta":{"origin":86,"position":4},"title":"Fostering Independence","date":"February 21, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"As a parent I\u2019ve worked incredibly hard to instill a sense of independence in my child. My mother did it for me and it\u2019s one of the things I\u2019m most committed to as a mother. I genuinely worry that I make life too easy for her because I live and\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 1 comment","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/34BD0B09-063C-4DBD-B0D4-EE811AF87582.jpeg?fit=712%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":54,"url":"https:\/\/www.hypotheticallyhappy.com\/?p=54","url_meta":{"origin":86,"position":5},"title":"And then the tears came...","date":"August 27, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I once had to drop my niece off at school. We were halfway down the block when she let me know she wasn't wearing shoes. 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